This week I sold prints of these two images I shot a few years ago at the Highline. They’ll hang in the corporate headquarters of an architectural firm in NYC.
Hunger
When Olin sees something he’d like to eat he gets a little crease in his brow and says in Korean: “I didn’t eat that”.
To make them smile
In Guatemala, my father Mario Permuth makes these digital illustrations so his grandchildren in New York will smile.
His mother’s expression
A visit with Olmedini (after 9 months)
I spent yesterday visiting with my dear friend Olmedini El Mago.
It had been nine long months since the last time we had a chance to see each other. And equally long since the last time he performed magic on the subway - or ventured out for a haircut.
Cherries
A few notes about our twins:
Like characters in a children’s book, they say “tok tok tok” instead of actually knocking on doors.
They translate everything from Korean to English for Papi’s benefit. Luca is a puzzle master and also loves to build to spec. Olin gets a kick out of assembling as well, as long as the result looks nothing like the illustration in the product box.
Olin breaks out in song. Luca gets up to dance.
Luca’s color is blue. Olin’s is red.
They call each other “Cuca” and “Ewin”.
When one of them gets hurt, the other rushes in to give comfort.
They stomp their feet like pistons in an engine when they’re upset.
They laugh at each other’s jokes for minutes on end - but nobody else gets it.
They can fight over toys all day long, but they don’t think twice about letting other kids borrow them at the playground.
Luca does a happy dance when he eats his favorite foods; Olin eats them with both hands at once.
Olin is fiercely independent; mischief is Luca’s middle name.
When they see themselves in the mirror, they call out their brother’s name.
When they go to sleep at night, they hold onto Mami, like pilgrims to their prayer.
***
Luca and Olin are two years old today.
Olin is a fox, Luca is a lion.
Jeju
This corner felt like the kind of spot neighborhood residents come out to at the end of the day to have a friendly chat.
No doubt you’d find me here if I lived on the island.
Lessons learnt
This morning I was reading an animal book to the twins. We came to an illustration of an octopus. “Who is this?”
Luca: “Octopus”
Olin: “Yummy”
Jeju Island: lessons learnt.
A glimmer of light
After the storm I caught a glimmer of light in the sky. I looked at the clouds and thought about my mother’s soul. The light intensified slowly and then it’s full radiance came forth on the horizon.
I felt it was shining for me. The light was her voice and it spoke to my heart, bringing a moment of peace and reassurance to a grieving son.
A man doesn’t have time
“A man doesn't have time. When he loses he seeks, when he finds he forgets, when he forgets he loves, when he loves he begins to forget”.
Mirror image
When they see themselves in the mirror, they call out their brother’s name.
Semester Abroad
Today I completed my Final exams for Summer semester Korean language class at Kyung Hee University. I did best in the exam I was most anxious about: Conversation. And I probably did well enough on Grammar and Listening Comprehension but would have liked more time for Reading Comprehension.
I hope I passed and moved on to the next level - although that’s a mute point since I never planned on continuing in the Fall. Being a college student in Seoul was wonderful, meaningful and daunting all at once. I’ll surely miss it!
Una pluma en el tiempo
Esta pluma levitando en Seoul me recordó tanto a mi querido amigo Olmedini El Mago - y los largos meses que han pasado desde que tuvimos oportunidad de vernos en persona.
It took almost two years.
It took them almost two years to say it back to me, but yesterday they both did: “I love you”.
All to myself
This afternoon, I had the twins all to myself. We strolled the neighborhood, we played, we danced for a bit and had dinner together.
Usually, at bedtime they prefer if Mami reads to them and tucks them in. It had been a few weeks since I had the opportunity to do so. Olin fell asleep first. Luca had taken a nap earlier and wasn’t quite ready for bed. At some point he started recounting his memories of the day: animals, cars, songs, things. He practiced saying certain words a few times over and also translating them from Korean to English. When he was done with his “diary” he did something that brought tears to my eyes: he slowly went through the names of each of his Korean relatives one by one.
HRM had mentioned that he did that occasionally before sleep. But it was something else to actually hear his voice saying their names in the darkness, so sweet and so full of love.
Seoul life
For my family and I, the accidental fallout from Corona was that we ended up moving to Seoul for the summer. This was not something we planned for; even less, an expense that we budgeted for.
We left NYC at the height of the pandemic and traveled as lightly as we could. What’s happened in practice is that I’m having the opportunity to realize a long-time dream: to study Korean in Seoul.
My lifestyle here breaks down as follows: weekdays, I am a full-time college student. Classes started online, but a month ago we moved to learning on campus. I get home around mid-afternoon, and I’m back to being a father to my twins. After they go to sleep, the night shift gets going. I teach photography online or - as was the case this past week - work on commissions from clients back home.
On weekends I spend time with my family and squeeze in a review of the material I studied during the week. Today, my in-laws stopped by to take us out to a flea market. Normally, I’m all about that. However, when HRM asked if I would rather stay and get some rest… I just had to agree. They left the house shortly after three and came back around seven.
I thought I would lie down for a bit and then study; I slept through the entire thing.
A college student (yet) again
This has been a most surprising year: sometimes in terrifying and somber ways. But I find myself in the wholly unexpected position of being enrolled as a student in a Korean College. For the past two months, I’ve been studying online. But starting tomorrow classes move on campus.
HRM and I visited today. And I have to confess: I’m really looking forward to it. I love being a student (yet) again and the campus is beautiful!
Harlequin
One time, when HRM was still pregnant, we got into a cab whose driver turned out to be the father of twin boys. His advice to me: always get the exact same stuff for your boys, or prepare for war. In all fairness, we do buy identical fairly often, but we also think there’s some merit to the notion of individuation.
Still, the guy was right: twins can be fiercely protective of their stuff.
The life of twin parents is a study in controlled chaos. We might shower at 5AM or just before midnight, depending on how the day goes. Today, I stepped out of the shower just before dinner time. The twins were reading a book with Mami and I was surprised to see them wearing new bibs with a bright harlequin pattern. HRM said they’d just been delivered. When she tried them on the boys they loved them so much they got to crying every time she started to take them off. Looking at them, I mentioned how good they looked in their new bibs. They beamed back at me. Then looking at HRM I asked if there was a bib for Papi as well. In a playful, sad tone, she whispered “no, not for Papi”. Without missing a beat, Luca reached back behind his neck and pulled hard on the velcro straps to unfasten his bib. With the brightest smile on his face he handed it over to me: “Papi”.
There are days when the kids surely do test my patience and endurance.
That’s when I choose to remember moments like this.
* * Olin and Luca are twenty months old today.
Camus in Seoul
I read L’Etranger in Spanish as a teenager growing up in Guatemala. A few years later, I reread it in English. It was also the first book I ever read in French. And when I completed my studies at Hebrew University in Jerusalem and moved to Tel Aviv, I translated its opening pages into Hebrew to apply for a part-time job at a translation agency.
Today, I met my long lost friend at a café in Seoul. It was deeply moving to understand the first few sentences in Korean.
19 months
They’re nineteen months old today. I never dreamt that I would become the father of twin boys at age fifty. But here we are and I could not ask for a lovelier family.
We celebrated with an outing to a small farm that has a mini petting zoo and a modest collection of exotic animals.